Friends

I am very blessed to have many different kinds
of friends in my life
I continue to change as the years pass
Many friends have come and gone from my life
I know each one has been a gift and
blessing to me

I look back over my life and see how
I have been lead by some to teach me
how to be truthful and honest to myself

There have been times when I
attempted to control some of my friendships
so I could feel loved and wanted
a lesson I received from my family

I have pushed others away in mean ways
for I didn’t understand that
I could simply let them know that
I was grateful for our journey and now it
was time for me, us to move on

Others have pushed me away
in negative ways too
they too not knowing how to set our
relationship free with grace

Then there are those that have
stood the test of time
both of us growing, differently
yet, with a belief system that works
complimenting the two of us

We respect each other’s journey
seeing that we can gracefully
dance our own dance
while dancing together

Thank you for being in my life…………..

Change

What I am finding right now is that
I am changing faster then I can keep up with
the old has fallen away
and the new is in process

I am releasing over and over again
and receiving over and over again
so who I am is ever changing right now
there is only accepting what is in this moment
for the next brings more change

so what am I do to
just breath
seems so easy
yet, so challenging at the same time

some people want me to be the same old me
and some like the new me
(am I really a new me?)
or is it that I am being the real me
the one that I always knew existed inside me

I know nothing
yet, I feel so free now in knowing nothing
it’s as if I really understand
that saying that knowing nothing
is knowing everything

what is next?
I believe this craziness is
bringing me peace and
Spiritual freedom to be me

Expressing our pain

One of the challenges is finding ways to express our feeling
when I am really hurting
I find it the most challenging time
sometimes I am good at just saying I hurt and be in the hurt
this past time with all going on with my family and Dad I was
able to do it for the most part
I kept my story out of most of it
yet said my feeling of how I was feeling without
explaining everything

Sometimes when it all hurts more then we can take
it is important to blur it all out to one person that we can trust
this helps us get the pain and sorrow out
tell our story, be heard and validated
and allow us to find what is really behind it all

It is balance
finding a positive way to say what is going on is easy for
small things and that is where we start
then we add to it as we go along
I believe there are also times
we must get out what we feel in order to process
and heal the pain which is inside us 

I feel that there is a time for our hurt and anger to
be spoken so we can heal the yuck that is inside us
eating us up in more ways then we understand
with the right person to hear us we are able to feel
safe as we express the ugly stuff stuck inside 

There is a time and place for all our feelings
by honoring ourselves and being fine with feeling
the yuck and using what method we can use
where we don’t harm others or ourselves as we
express our pain

We are able to move forward into our hearts and
live with positive words to express our feelings
leaving out the story and negative
which comes from old programing
and habits we picked up on throughout our life

Holidays

The holiday time is one of many trials and tribulations
with our lives today
many families live around the country
even around the world
how do we connect with our family
and also have our lives too

Many of us are older and have children of our own
enough of us have our children grown and out of our homes
caught between our own children
our siblings and parents (the ones that are still here)
there seems not enough time in our lives these
days to be in several places at once

How do we fare
Do we buy gifts to help with the guilt
Do we go and see them
spending much time and money standing in line
at airports
Do we make sure everyone is happy at the expense of
ourselves

There is this thing called guilt
and it seems to really pull on us more
when the holiday season is abound
guilt for not having enough money to buy
everyone what they want and leaving some people out
guilt for not being at everyone’s gathering
guilt for not wanting to give all our holiday time
to those we don’t like
and guilt for not liking what others bought us
for gifts

seems like we spend more time feeling guilty
about the holiday season
because we can’t make everyone happy
and the one person not on our list
is ourself

more and more as I get older
I find the holiday is about what makes me happy
and when I am happy
those I care most about are happy too
This holiday season I did what I desired to do

the funny thing is my children were happy
even though I didn’t go see them
they had other family to visit with
made it easy for all of us
they didn’t have to pick and choose
I went on a road trip and caught up with old
friends of mine
and spent time by myself walking beaches
one of my most favorite things to do

Next holiday season
who knows what will happen
I just decided to start a new tradition
this one involves
Making me happy first
My children seem to have caught on
they like the idea of us all doing what makes us happy

we have all year to see each other
it doesn’t have to be on the holidays
giving us more freedom and much pleasure
to just be able to enjoy our time together
with many great memories

Motherhood

One of the most challenging things we do in life is be a Mother
it seems as if life turns upside down several different times during the growth
of our children

Be it one child or several, the process seems to change every time we seem
to have figured it out
remembering what it was like to be the child
our memories at times feel as if they were from a movie
or story someone else wrote
siblings having a different take on our childhood as we do
and our parents at times seem to have a different story too…………

What every Mom says or does seems to work as differently as each child’s personality
One thing that seems to be the biggest painful challenge to many Mom’s is when
one of our children stop talking to us
when they are young we at times pray they will stop talking and quiet down
giving themselves and us must needed rest
when they are adults and decide that they are taking a stand in the world
and then shut us out for whatever reason they have
the pain and sorrow we bear as Mom seems to break us at the very core of our existence

Our heads swarm with questions
what did we do wrong, what did we say wrong, what can we do to make them understand
what if ?????????????
the questions go on and on
then there is family, friends, co-workers and so on that ask us the same questions
as if we haven’t already beaten ourselves up enough we get the questions we have yet to be able
to answer back at us

what I have come to know is this:
We are love
We come from love
We are to be the love we desire to ourselves
others at times might not respect us
Yet, we can and are strong enough to be our light
We have wonderful people in our live’s
It is for us to receive the love they have to offer us during these times
We are love

Thank you Mom’s for being your light even when you are in need of only shining
it for yourself in the darkness of your healing
you are beautiful Mom’s and doing the best you can

Motherhood is the gift of learning how to love yourself as well as your journey with your children, family and friends

Bless you for being a Mom
the most challenging job on Mother Earth………………………

Respect

So much disrespect floating around
What have we been teaching each other?
How many generations ago did the breakdown of respect start?
Why do we believe we are to tolerate disrespect to ourselves and others?

Seems we get blamed and become the bad person
when we speak up and ask to be respected

Funny how we usually seem to only speak up when
we have had enough
as if we think that taking the disrespect from time to time is ok
Then we reach that point were we say enough is enough
So what has to happen inside of us before we stand our ground
we even end up demanding respect instead of asking politely

How often do we shift and change our opinion of ourselves
so we can feel like we fit in with friends and co-workers
even our family

Why do we change to fit in at all
does it have to do with the old feelings
the ones that are familiar
comfortable and all knowing to us

I desire change to be easy
I desire to be respected more
and I know that I have to be the one who removes
myself from those who don’t respect me

To be grateful for the lessons I receive in regards to respect
for it comes often enough for me to understand
I am still in physical form and working on myself
most importantly I must give myself the respect I desire
from others before I can ask it of others

I am truly grateful to be here and walking my path
my lessons are my gift to teach me how to respect, love and honor
who I am

 

 

Attachments

We are so conditioned to believe that we must
be attached to the people in our lives
somehow we have come to believe that attachment and love go hand in hand
Why can’t I love someone without feeling like I have to do everything
the way they like or more importantly change myself to
impress them or show them they are important to me

Can we just care about each other free of attachments?
you be you and I be me
Connecting with each other, enjoy each other just as we are
neither one of us changing to make the other happy
just being

We are beautiful people
and we have so much to give
it is time we give to ourselves by
believing in who we are and loving who we are
find the joy in ourselves as unique individuals
and lighting up our world from inside ourselves
then sharing our happiness with those we love

Imagine us all being better for ourselves and honoring
ourselves for the journeys we have walked this life time alone
imagine us accepting all of our past experiences and believing
we can create a better us from our lessons

Most importantly imagine each of us taking responsibility for
our own feeling and actions
thus, freeing us to enjoy one another without being responsible for
fixing the people we love and care about
or making them change to fit our needs so we don’t have to accept
ourselves or take responsiblity for our actions

free of attaching ourselves to each other to make ourselves feel better
just respecting each persons journey
and connecting with kindness and love
allowing each person the freedom to be who they are

I guess the question becomes this
How many of us would really stay with those who hurt us with
their actions if we were free of the attachments that have entangled
us in each others lives?

Drama

It seems to me that much is ado
everywhere I turn I find some friends and family
all a mist
creating new drama from past journeys

I feel as if I am being tested
I have walked away from the drama of the past
and really desire to live in the positive
the best I can every day

Is it myself who is testing me
Or, is it them?
They seems to be so used to the negative
can it be that they get lost
and feel insecure without the drama

I believe in my new way of feeling and walking
Kind words about myself and everyone I meet
I catch myself
it is easy for me to fall back into old habits
where I get caught up in the drama of everyone’s stuff
and lose myself

I forgive myself and thank those
who show me how I am the most
important person in my life

I believe in my journey
I love myself and the path I am now walking
I love those in my life who keep reminding me
that I am in human form and part of my
journey is to not judge myself or anyone else

Thank you for being my best teachers
I love you

Honor

What does it mean to honor thyself
Different from respect
not the same as love

How does one honor thyself
if we don’t understand what the
word really means

Loving myself means
doing good things for myself
saying and believing in myself
respecting my past lessons
moving forward humbly
free of judging myself for where I have been

I get confused with the concept of
honor verses respect
I view respect as working hand and hand
with honor

Respecting myself means to treat myself
as I would a friend or someone I love
with kindness

Honor myself
I tell myself the truth and I find ways
to be truthful to others without hurting them
at the same time doing the right thing for myself
instead of what is right for someone else

So today I honor myself
that what once was no longer is
that which I desire has yet to come
living in between feels so upsurd

I am not here or there
ackward I feel moving around in the void
as if lost in the night
awaiting first light

I am still here
honoring my journey
not sure who I am
yet, trusting I am on the right path for me

Girlfriends

So many of my girlfriends have lost their Mom’s
in the past few years
Having the blessing to be able to be with their Mom’s before they
took flight and became Spirit once again

My girlfriends are strong women who have been left with
the responsibility of taking care of the arrangements as
everyone knows what kind of wonderful caregiver they are

As woman we have learned to be the ones to take charge
when something comes up
be it something small like, listening to our friends and giving
them hugs when they hurt
to being the one to take care of the arrangements and talk to
the many different people involved in the services
regarding the passing of our Mother

I wish to take the sorrow away
to be their for them
I know the lost they feel as I loss my Mom 21 years ago
yet, no one could take my pain away
this is all part of our journey

I wish for them to know that so many of us have traveled in their
shoes and we all send love and light as they move
through these experience

Most of all, we are loved
My deepest heart felt feelings to each of my girlfriends
who have lost their Mom’s
you are loved and please know your Mom is still there
with her arms wrapped around each one of you
giving you the biggest hug ever
free to fly and just be Spirit