What Inspires Me……………..

Ego

What is the Ego?
Could it be a round waffle
Or square one
That pops out of our
Toaster in the morning

Made from / with words
Most of us do not recognize
Things that are far from
Being real food

Not much taste to make
Our morning cheery
So we add butter
Maple syrup, a sprinkle of
Powered sugar

Having one of those morning
That needs extra sweetness
To start our day
We add some fresh cut fruit
Which helps us
Believe we are eating healthy

Ah, a quick fix to getting
Our day off to a great start

Funny thing is
Did we even really enjoy it
Are we so used to living
The quick and easy way
Or at least desire life to be
Quick and easy

We skip over slowing down
And feeling the moments
Of our day

Ego
Rushing through life
Making due with whatever is
sugar coating it when we
Desire it to be different
Still swallowing it anyway

Missing the experiences
That come from living in the moment and letting Spirit
Guide the journey

Learning Curve

For the first time
I am living my life
For myself

I have lived for others
For so many years
I feel that if i am to be graded
Then, I desire it to be
on the curve

Feeling awkward
Not understanding how
To play in this new field

There appear to be
No rules
No lies
No dishonesty

Openness is the truth
We are living by
Respect and integrity
Flow with ease and grace

My mind gets all confused
Waiting for
Looking for
Expecting something to go array

Truth is my heart
Knows the truth
I feel this different kind of
Relationship
Within in the essence of my soul

My learning curve is:
Love
Accepting
Receiving
Love

Fire

My body feels our fire
As we
Snuggle into each other
Hearts beating as one
Free to be light
Free to breath deep

So far away
In physical form
I still feel you beside me

The fire you ignite inside me
Creates flames that explode
Into the night sky

This passion I feel for you
Stirs my soul My heart
I have felt you for what
seems eternally
We Come together now

Many life times past
Our fire was created out of chaos
As you stood by me
Knowing we could not be

Now, my flame desires
Your touch
Your passion
Your heart
Your kiss

I embrace my journey with you
Heart wide open

With such blessing of gratitude
Filled with love
For what is to come

My mind races 
Filled with questions 

Can I trust this person ?
How will I know if he is telling 
The truth ?
Is there really a nice guy out there 
Who will truly like me for me ?
Am I a fool for taking a chance with 
A man long distance ? 

Stop, breath, get back into my heart
Stop, breath, trust Spirit

Quiet my mind 
It is full of stories 
Ones to scare me 
Believing they are to protect me 
From being a fool

Sitting still
I listen to my heart 
The sound of contentment 
Following my journey 
Into the unknown 

I desire to open my heart to 
All possibilities 
That only great, wonderful 
Gifts will come from this 
Experience

I find that this time I 
Desire to free myself from 
The drivers seat 

Trust fully in myself 
To be in each moment as 
It comes
Embracing the feeling of the moment

I am free
Starting now

Blessed

Blessed

Today I feel blessed
In this moment I feel like
The most blessed person
How can I be so lucky to
Be this blessed

Being blessed is our gift
We all are blessed
We all share great luck

Why do we forget
Why do we become the victim
Why do we feel less than others

It took me some time to remember
Remember to be grateful for
All I have and all I am

Life takes us on journeys
It was up to me to
Be the one wishing for a
different future
A different life
A different story

Then I remembered my journey
I remembered how the things
That happened to me
Taught me lots of lessions
How each experience taught
Me who I am not and who I know
Resides inside of me
Begging to come out and shine

Each person I met
Taught me to honor
My belief system
Follow my truth

And, yes it costs me
It cost me friends,
Lovers and family

At every turn
I had a choice
A choice to follow another
Or follow my truth
Sometimes, in order to fit in
I followed them
As I got stronger
I followed my truth

My truth is this
I feel very blessed for
Everyone I have met
Everyone I have journeyed
With
Everyone I have loved
And everyone I still love
Every situation I have gotten
Myself into
And even more
The situations Spirit, God, the Universe
Has gotten me out of

Blessed is how I live now
Thank you for each moment
Of my life
Filled with joy and heartache
A like

I am a blessed person
Blessed to be me
Just the way I am

Loyalty

Here we are
We have reached that place
where you believe
My loyalty to you has changed

Another talks
creating a break in
our relationship

My gift from this
once I stop defending my truth
as I quit trying to sort out why
or how this all came about is

I am loyal
Loyal to me
being loyal to others first
has been one of the things
that has taken me away from myself

I breath in my light,
my truth, and my honor

I release all who I gave
myself away to

Now seeing that
my loyalty resides
finally to me
and my journey

Thank you for being you
so I may become me

Friends

I am very blessed to have many different kinds
of friends in my life
I continue to change as the years pass
Many friends have come and gone from my life
I know each one has been a gift and
blessing to me

I look back over my life and see how
I have been lead by some to teach me
how to be truthful and honest to myself

There have been times when I
attempted to control some of my friendships
so I could feel loved and wanted
a lesson I received from my family

I have pushed others away in mean ways
for I didn’t understand that
I could simply let them know that
I was grateful for our journey and now it
was time for me, us to move on

Others have pushed me away
in negative ways too
they too not knowing how to set our
relationship free with grace

Then there are those that have
stood the test of time
both of us growing, differently
yet, with a belief system that works
complimenting the two of us

We respect each other’s journey
seeing that we can gracefully
dance our own dance
while dancing together

Thank you for being in my life…………..

Change

What I am finding right now is that
I am changing faster then I can keep up with
the old has fallen away
and the new is in process

I am releasing over and over again
and receiving over and over again
so who I am is ever changing right now
there is only accepting what is in this moment
for the next brings more change

so what am I do to
just breath
seems so easy
yet, so challenging at the same time

some people want me to be the same old me
and some like the new me
(am I really a new me?)
or is it that I am being the real me
the one that I always knew existed inside me

I know nothing
yet, I feel so free now in knowing nothing
it’s as if I really understand
that saying that knowing nothing
is knowing everything

what is next?
I believe this craziness is
bringing me peace and
Spiritual freedom to be me

Expressing our pain

One of the challenges is finding ways to express our feeling
when I am really hurting
I find it the most challenging time
sometimes I am good at just saying I hurt and be in the hurt
this past time with all going on with my family and Dad I was
able to do it for the most part
I kept my story out of most of it
yet said my feeling of how I was feeling without
explaining everything

Sometimes when it all hurts more then we can take
it is important to blur it all out to one person that we can trust
this helps us get the pain and sorrow out
tell our story, be heard and validated
and allow us to find what is really behind it all

It is balance
finding a positive way to say what is going on is easy for
small things and that is where we start
then we add to it as we go along
I believe there are also times
we must get out what we feel in order to process
and heal the pain which is inside us 

I feel that there is a time for our hurt and anger to
be spoken so we can heal the yuck that is inside us
eating us up in more ways then we understand
with the right person to hear us we are able to feel
safe as we express the ugly stuff stuck inside 

There is a time and place for all our feelings
by honoring ourselves and being fine with feeling
the yuck and using what method we can use
where we don’t harm others or ourselves as we
express our pain

We are able to move forward into our hearts and
live with positive words to express our feelings
leaving out the story and negative
which comes from old programing
and habits we picked up on throughout our life

Holidays

The holiday time is one of many trials and tribulations
with our lives today
many families live around the country
even around the world
how do we connect with our family
and also have our lives too

Many of us are older and have children of our own
enough of us have our children grown and out of our homes
caught between our own children
our siblings and parents (the ones that are still here)
there seems not enough time in our lives these
days to be in several places at once

How do we fare
Do we buy gifts to help with the guilt
Do we go and see them
spending much time and money standing in line
at airports
Do we make sure everyone is happy at the expense of
ourselves

There is this thing called guilt
and it seems to really pull on us more
when the holiday season is abound
guilt for not having enough money to buy
everyone what they want and leaving some people out
guilt for not being at everyone’s gathering
guilt for not wanting to give all our holiday time
to those we don’t like
and guilt for not liking what others bought us
for gifts

seems like we spend more time feeling guilty
about the holiday season
because we can’t make everyone happy
and the one person not on our list
is ourself

more and more as I get older
I find the holiday is about what makes me happy
and when I am happy
those I care most about are happy too
This holiday season I did what I desired to do

the funny thing is my children were happy
even though I didn’t go see them
they had other family to visit with
made it easy for all of us
they didn’t have to pick and choose
I went on a road trip and caught up with old
friends of mine
and spent time by myself walking beaches
one of my most favorite things to do

Next holiday season
who knows what will happen
I just decided to start a new tradition
this one involves
Making me happy first
My children seem to have caught on
they like the idea of us all doing what makes us happy

we have all year to see each other
it doesn’t have to be on the holidays
giving us more freedom and much pleasure
to just be able to enjoy our time together
with many great memories